What a fun night I had with the 31-time New York bestselling author and spiritual teacher, Gary Zukav.
I dove right in and asked Gary to talk a little about what exactly spiritual partnership is. He said that we’re in an unprecedented time in our human experience. More and more people are wanting to know where they came from and how they can live a more spiritually conscious life. Gary said that we’re always presented with choices, and we’re in an enormous transformation where we’re expanding beyond our limitations of the five senses. We’re becoming more aware of ourselves as bodies; more aware of ourselves than in the past; more aware of our lives as being meaningful; and more aware of ourselves as personalities and souls. We’re beginning to sense why we are alive, and we’re beginning to be drawn to things like harmony, cooperation, sharing, and reverence for life.
Gary’s new book, Spiritual Partnership: The Journey to Authentic Power, helps us get to these choices consciously and “strongly”.
He said that authentic power is having the courage to experience what we’re feeling but not be controlled by those feelings (i.e. anger, jealousy, need to please, need to control, need to be right, etc.). Being authentically powerful helps us feel these emotions more which helps us develop the choice to choose responsibly.
Gary said that our obstacles are there for our spiritual growth, and as one friend told him, “They are not in our way… they are the way.”
Gary said when we get angry, or upset, or feel inadequate, or unworthy of being alive, that we should know we share our experiences with everyone, and this knowing requires the ability to recognize those obstacles and challenge them, so we’re not acting on them in a negative way.
He then explained the game of becoming a better coach and some of the consequences of our choices. Gary used this metaphor to help us better understand…
“Suppose that you are a coach, and you have a team, and you can play only one player on this team at a time. Your players are, for example, anger, contentment, jealousy, rage, impatience, appreciation, gratitude. So, whenever you put a player on the court, it plays world-class. Your team is the best. If you put anger on the court, it doesn’t require warm up. Instantly, it’s playing world-class anger, and you are experiencing the consequences of it. In other words, it intimidates people. They don’t want to be vulnerable or intimate with it. They don’t even want to be around it. And so, as a result, you feel lonely and isolated, and not in touch with people, and that makes this part of your personality more angry. But you don’t have to play anger, you can play patience. So, to be a coach, in the game of life, is to decide what is the best player for you to play at each moment. And the more familiar you become with your players, you’ll begin to realize that some of them are more painful when you play them. That is, it hurts to be angry, but as painful as they are, the consequences they create are even more painful. So, to become a good coach you start to become aware of the connection of the players you’re playing and the consequences they’re creating because they’re them for you.”
WOW!
Gary also said that most coaches don’t know all the players on their team. The players that they don’t know can then step on the court whenever they choose, and do whatever they want.
He said that when we’re triggered by something, it’s actually a part of our personality that is triggered. What actually gets activated is the part of our personality that expected the world to be different than it is. He said that when we’re triggered, it is an invitation for us to place our awareness within ourselves.
When we’re not aware of the many parts of our personality, those parts will make themselves known. We’ll suddenly find ourselves expressing those emotions, perhaps, in a negative way. But developing emotional awareness can help us become more aware before we act out. He said that when we act on our triggers, we’re only creating more painful consequences for ourselves. Creating authentic power is about cultivating the loving parts of our personality.
Gary talked about the many sensations we feel when we start creating our lives consciously. He said we always have the choice of what to do once our triggers are activated. He said we can either continue to do what we have habitually done, or we can do something that will create consequences that we’re willing to accept responsibility for.
Gary answered a question from a listener where she stated that sometimes she acts out to show the other person the hurt they’ve caused. Gary eloquently stated that if we go within ourselves, we’ll see that part of us that needs to control how someone else acts out.
He then explained what Spiritual Partnership is about. Gary said that it’s about people interacting with others. When we’re open to sharing what we see in others, and they’re open to sharing what they see in us, then we are in a spiritual partnership. It’s a new way for us to relate to one another. It’s a relationship of more meaning, purpose, fulfillment, and satisfaction.
Spiritual partners will look at one another and see where the painful experiences are coming from, so that the sources can be found and challenged and cultivated. Gary also said that the pain of powerlessness is the experience of feeling that we want to belong, and we don’t. The feeling of wanting to love and believing that we’re not capable of being loving or loved in return. The feeling or belief that we’re intrinsically flawed in some way.
Masking our pain or changing and manipulating our external environments is no longer working; it’s actually poisoning us.
I understand why Oprah had Gary on her show so many times. He’s the real deal. This was also Gary’s first interview about his amazing new book Spiritual Partnership. It is not only about relationships, but it builds on the concepts he offered in his groundbreaking Seat of the Soul to take us into the strategies of a truly spiritual and authentically powerful life.
Gary also agreed to offer us an amazing package of material. His new book and amazing new accompanying rich interactive spiritual partnership learning experience is not quite available, so he came up with something REALLY special ( AND F*R*E*E) JUST for Healing With The Masters audiences! Check it out here:
http://www.seatofthesoul.com/specialoffer (best viewed in Firefox)
Tags: Gary Zukav, Healing with the Masters, Jennifer McLean, Season 5
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