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November 16th, 2010

Understanding Men, Satisfying Women – Phases of the Hunt with Alison Armstrong

Human AnimalHuman Spirit… the duality of humankind. But Alison Armstrong, tonight’s guest on Healing with the Masters, did a beautiful job helping us to better understand how women and men relate to one another.

Alison explained her concept of “What if no one was ever misbehaving?”, and pondered a possible response, “What if men are actually responding to women?” In fact what if they (and we for that matter) had a REALLY good reason for doing what we are doing? What if, instead of reacting, we responded, and felt compassion in the moment for those we are interacting with as having an important reasons for what they are doing? Alison said women need to offer specifics to what we want men to do for us; we need to express the inherit good in the tasks because men need to be excellent in protecting, providing. We need to share specifically how what we are asking for will help us, will provide for us. Once we do that a man in his wonderful provider mode will be more than willing to do just about anything he can to deliver. The masculine is accountable AND is very conscious of his resources and time (an instinctual biological behavior) so unless we offer how his efforts will provide for us he just doesn’t see the point of using valuable resources. This is truly not misbehaving it is a miracle of consideration when viewed from this masculine perspective.

Alison shared how both men and woman can move into human animal where we can have cave-women attacks where instinctual biological imperatives take over. When we choose to react (human animal) to situations versus respond (human spirit), we eclipse spirit.

Alison then discussed the Phases of the Hunt which are very predictable ways of being in accomplishing a result for others…

  • Commit Phase is when men commit to the PLAN (the end result).
  • Strategy Phase is when men (and women how are in “the hunt” in a masculine mode) collect data and determine resource and strategize the best way to create a successful “plan of attack.” During this phase, men will talk a lot more than usual and ask a lot of questions. However, once the plan is all worked out, they no longer see the need for further input or dialogue. And women, not realizing the conversation is over, will go into “auto redial mode”… where we keep talking. Women keep talking because we don’t understand the completion of this phase while men see this quiet time as obvious (i.e. “We worked out the plan; we know what we’re doing; so why are you still talking about it???”)
  • Collect Power Phase is a focusing period (quiet time) where men are in transition from the Strategy to the Implementation Phase. During this phase, men are focused on getting the woman from point A to point B as safely as possible. They feel accountable for the end result (aka the PLAN). Tension may come up during this phase because women don’t understand the silence (tension is a sign that whatever is happening is a threat to us).
  • Implementation Phase is when it’s time to get underway or on track. Men are keenly aware of what resources are available to them and will see delays as a waste of time. For example, if a man knows he only has 8 hours of good driving energy in him, he’s not going to waste energy on “mindless” pit stops (such as those “let’s stop here”, and “I have to pee… again” moments). For men, protecting comes first and providing second.

Within each phase of the hunt there is a new way of working with the instinctual that allows for human spirit to win… you can find out more about this in Alison’s Celebrating Partnership product AND a brief overview on this Healing With The Masters call (that will soon expire so listen while you can)
There was really a lot of incredible, eye-opening content shared tonight!

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